Friday, March 27, 2009

Fair Warning: Crazy White Lady Wants Revolution


Minnesota congresswoman Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) appeared on Sean Hannity's radio show Wednesday and the internets are abuzz with the majestic weirdness of her pronouncements. Apparently Bachmann believes that President Obama is a "tyrant", the US is moving toward "economic Marxism" and calls for an "orderly revolution" among right-thinking people to prevent "Democrats from achieving their ends."

Wait. What was that last one again?

Here is the full quote:

"At this point the American people - it's like Thomas Jefferson said, a revolution every now and then is a good thing. We are at the point, Sean, of revolution. And by that, what I mean, an orderly revolution -- where the people of this country wake up get up and make a decision that this is not going to happen on their watch. It won't be our children and grandchildren that are in debt. It is we who are in debt, we who will be bankrupting this country, inside of ten years, if we don't get a grip. And we can't let the Democrats achieve their ends any longer."

So, in other words this lady, who is an elected official of the United States of America, just called for the overthrow of its government.

Huzzawah?

Lets play a game. Lets imagine what would happen if Keith Ellison (D-MN), the first Muslim ever elected to the United States congress had appeared on...oh, I don't know, Al-Jazeera... and announced that he thought it was time for a revolution in the United States. What do you think would happen?

Yeah, me too.

Sean Hannity's bright pink head, beneath its lush, mink-like Irish Curse mane, would literally explode. But Hannity's response to Bachmann was positively pensive as he thoughtfully encouraged her by saying, "you are not overstating this case, Congresswoman, and you don't need to apologize for it. And as a matter of fact, it's refreshing."

Refreshing?

Bachmann, whose JD is from Oral Roberts University has many passions, including creationism, homeschooling and "Islamic terrorism." For example, in 2007 she claimed to have personal knowledge that Iraq was going to be split down the middle by Iran and recreated as "The Iraq State of Islam" which would function as a "terrorist safe haven zone"... and then she admitted she didn't know what the fuck she was talking about. Her legislative interests include the Light Bulb Freedom of Choice Act, which opposes the nation-wide shift away from incandescent bulbs toward the more environmentally friendly Compact Fluorescents. She said in support of that bill, "We are working on a light bulb bill. If the Democrats can hose up a light bulb, don't trust them with the country." That's right ladies, Michelle Bachmann supports your right to choose... incandescent light bulbs.

I am not making this up.

Now, nobody loves a conservative nutcase more than me, but I think the fact that this woman, who is an elected official (I can't get past it!) can appear on a conservative radio show aimed at people who oppose the current administration and politely request a coup d'État... I just don't think that is a joke. Admittedly, it is hard to take Bachmann seriously. She has crazy eyes and seemingly lacks even a rudimentary understanding of economics, which is apparently not an impediment to holding public office in Minnesota (see also: Ventura, Jesse)... but still. And she qualified her call for revolution with "orderly", which makes it sound less like fascism and more like a Martha Stewart cooking segment on the Today Show (kind of a fine line anyway).

But still.

Is there a minority person alive who isn't clear on what happens after all the conservative nutjobs "wake up get up and make a decision that this is not going to happen on their watch"?

Yeah, me too.

4 comments:

  1. and there was I thinking British politics were barking...

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  2. Joseph, thanks for this write-up. Am veering between being amused (Bachmann REALLY does have crazy eyes, and it was the first thing that popped into my head when I saw that photo!) and being chilled (right-wing bigotry in pearls and a dress ALWAYS makes me nervous). Also, what is it that the Hannities of the world are always whining about "losing"? From what I've seen during my short time on the planet, the privilege structure - straight White men on top - hasn't really been fundamentally-altered since this nation's inception. Just sayin'.

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  3. @Understanding Alice
    I just had the same conversation about Canadian politics. So apparently there's a lot of this going around. Who knew?

    @Fiqah
    I felt/feel the same tension. Yes, she is a ridiculous figure but what she is suggesting is actually really scary. It is a mistake (I think) to dismiss this sort of aggressive stupidity as Bush-era nonsense. Those fucking people haven't gone anywhere and they are furious that Obama got into office. I predict there's gonna be a lot more "right-wing bigotry in pearls"(bwah!).

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  4. I would actually like to ask this woman what she'd like to see put in place after she and her compatriots dismantled our government orderly-ly. That's the part the Righties never articulate. We know you hate the Federal govt. etc etc blah blah blah... but what would you actually LIKE? Nation-states? Kingdoms, like in Lord Of The Rings? Come on, you insane ladyfreak, bring on the treason!

    Of course, that's the beauty of being a zealot; you get to operate on a plane of alternate reality where you enjoy the luxury of creating, breaking, then re-creating your own rules on a whim. Logic, as most humans understand it, doesn't apply. It must be wonderful.

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